Tom Petty, The Rolling Stones, God and My Biggest Weak Spot

Tom Petty sang "...the waiting is the hardest part." Mick and the boys sang that "...time is on my side."

Petty was right. Jagger was "maximizing the recreational pharmaceuticals" of the era.

As a person of faith, I know that "waiting on the Lord" is part of what we are called to do. I also know that we were blessed with brains, the ability (and the expectation?) to reason, and the skills, in some cases, to influence outcomes. All are, by design, in conflict, and I know that trust and wisdom are the keys to unleashing the best of the lot. Wisdom comes from getting kicked in the boys with an alarming regularity, and trust is the belief that someday, somehow, the kick won't come...if we are discerning and thoughtful in our "waiting." Trust. Wisdom. Patience. Discernment. Faith.

Balance is the problem.

Balance has always been my problem. I tend to have two speeds. "Go," and "Wish I was going."

These, I have learned are tools in God's arsenal for His own amusement. "Look," He says. "Heston is doing it again. He really cracks Me up." I've remarked in these pages and in countless conversations that I quit praying for patience, because I didn't like the way He answered. I'm wondering if I can get a waiver on balance, too.

Balance is the challenge.

I tend to be either an all-world Dad, or a really crappy one, sometimes within seconds of each other. I tend to be either a really good spouse or an awful one, sometimes in the same second. I'd like to think I am a pretty consistent friend, but there are days when I can really feel that I "get it," and other days when I lament the letter I should have written, the phone call I should have made or the listening I didn't do. All or nothing. Balance has left the building.

The same goes in my hobbies. I once made an eagle and three birdies at Whistling Straits, only to shoot a 92. My caddie suggested I quit. I love him, but he's such a smart ass!

I once had a really awesome wine collection, which has evolved in to 65 bottles I can't drink yet and about 30 that I should have drunk months ago -- along with about 20 that no one should drink -- ever.

My lawn used to be my pride and joy. Now, my 15-year-old neighbor kid does it. Better than I did.

As life has dealt me some interesting hands the past four or five months, I find myself facing the same challenge. Balance. I find myself kicking it like Bill Buckner did that ground ball, or like Chris Webber did that time out in the Final Four.

Maybe I am getting better at it and don't realize it. Maybe I am getting worse at it and don't realize it. Maybe I'm just dumber than a bag full o' hammers -- and, I think I am starting to realize that.

It all really does work out the way it's supposed to, and I should be less surprised and offended that I have no idea how it's supposed to work out. I would be....if I could just get this balance thing down.